The Journey

Last year was a journey for me, many things changed, evolved and new opportunities came to my attention. That’s most likely why I took such a long break from blogging. I needed last year to work on myself and my future, which I have done. As you all know recovery and knowledge come with time, patience and commitment. Although I am, in a sense better than I was, I am constantly facing new challenges and trying my best to keep moving forward on my journey.

I thought it best to make a small post just to keep you all in some kind of loop with what I’m doing with my life, a small update to cover a vast amount of time I was absent. I have registered for University, which is one massive achievement for me, I never thought I would be able to continue my studying when my illness became too much to manage when I was 17, when I dropped out of college. But I’m registered for University and I’m so damn excited and proud of that achievement.

My family also moved to Scotland in November or so? Which has obviously been a massive transition for me,and actually affected me in such a big way. I struggled a lot to begin with, because they were my safety net and a massive part of my support network, however I somehow turned this into a positive thing for me over time, I now have a reason to travel. It also allowed me to strengthen my relationships with my friends and grandparents who still live close to me, it also allowed me to really learn to trust myself more. I suppose it pushed me outside of my comfort zone and I worked it into an opportunity, eventually.

I also received my diagnosis for Fibromyalgia, which if you follow me on twitter, you know that was a decade long battle to get answers. Although Fibro isn’t curable, knowing what is physically wrong with me allowed me to learn how to manage my symptoms but also to give myself a break. I stopped pushing my body so hard to act like it was well, which helped me dramatically. I am also waiting to start a pain management course with my hospital pain management team, which will help me understand further about my condition and how to manage it.

I’ve had a few other physical things discovered as well, such as my hiatus hernia and liver damage, which has given me that extra push to take care with my diet and to really try to live a healthier lifestyle, which has actually had a slight, but positive impact on my mental health as well.

So, 2019, was definitely not without its challenges, and early last year when I had my major relapse I honestly did not think I would make it this far, I thought I would have taken my own life. However, I didn’t, I’m still here and actually thriving which is still an absolute shock to me.

Also, I would just like to take the time to personally thank each and every one of you who have accompanied me on this journey so far, on wordpress, twitter and in the realm of reality, I wouldnt have made it this far without the patience, understanding and continuing support from all of you.

I would like to take this time to thank my closest friends Mary and Aaron, for continually being my rock in my times of need and beyond that, being the people I can trust with absolutely anything and accepting me for how I am, quirks, illness and craziness all in one. I have never met two people who have allowed me into their life so openly and allowed me to experience the true meaning of friendship. You guys are one of my safe places and you continue to support and push me to be my best self. Also, a massive congratulations on your engagement, may your future bring you everything you desire and I will be supporting you by your sides the entire way. I love you both unconditionally, and I know I don’t express it nearly enough but its true.

Another group of people who deserve a big thanks are the girls in my Whatsapp group, you’ve been there for me for what? over a year now? and I love you all so so much, and I cant thank you enough for how welcome and supportive you’ve all been. I cant wait to travel to meet some of you this year! I’m pretty fucking excited to be honest.

Lastly, big shout out to my family, may you be in Scotland or a ten minute walk away, you have all been such big influences on my life and provided me with so much love and understanding I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for you. I love you with all my crazy pants heart.

So, yeah. I guess that covers it, so I’m back, I’ll be brainstorming ideas and drafting a few posts as regularly as my unproductive mind will let me, and hopefully I can continue to educate, help and ramble on to all of you for the foreseeable future.

Love and light,

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